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5.9.2008
She sleeps by the edge of America.
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5.7.2008
Saw a guy stuff a woman's purse into his backpack. Then he tossed a soda bottle he'd been drinking from onto a hedge, despite there being two trash cans nearby. Then he cured cancer.
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5.5.2008
Love is like quicksand; the more you wiggle, the more you sink. -Isaac Hayes
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5.2.2008
We think we know the ones we love. Our husbands, our wives ... we think we love them. But what we love turns out to be a poor translation, a translation we ourselves have made, from a language we barely know. One morning we awaken. Beside us, that familiar sleeping body in the bed: a new kind of stranger.
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4.30.2008
Memoirs of an executioner: "I alternate kindness and violence. Psychologically, it's a good thing."
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4.28.2008
It's gotten to the point where I've lost the capacity to believe the stories people tell me. I listen, but it's as if the person I am listening to either has no idea what he or she is saying, or they do and they don't care because it's simply easier to lie. You know, people complain about what a terrible president that Bush is, and yet to me he is scarily appropriate for the times we live in. Here's a guy for whom talking out of both sides of his mouth is as natural as breathing - it's perhaps the single thing he is actually good at. What better person is there to symbolize what we've become? Sartre described the human condition in summary form: freedom entails total responsibility, in the face of which we experience anguish, forlornness and despair; genuine human dignity can be achieved only in our active acceptance of these emotions.
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4.25.2008
My "Endtroducing" book is hanging in there at No. 17 (out of the 55 in the series).
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4.23.2008
The cure: the transformation of hysterical misery into common unhappiness.
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4.21.2008
"Things lose their balance and totter from the small blows of memory."
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4.19.2008
Big in China. Apparently.
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4.16.2008
New song: (Just Like) Lebowski's Rug. Natalia unwittingly blessed me with the title and Dave and Lisa tied it all together.
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4.14.2008
I fly because it releases my mind from the tyranny of petty things. -Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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4.11.2008
Scato-logic: fart + burp = farp
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4.8.2008
Lisa in the sky with birdies.
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4.4.2008
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
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4.2.2008
"We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions and moral choices. Some are on a grand scale, most of these choices are on lesser points. But we define ourselves by the choices we have made. We are, in fact, the sum total of our choices. Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly. Human happiness does not seem to have been included in the design of creation. It is only we, with our capacity to love, that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even to find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more."
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3.31.2008
I see life as a dance. Does a dance have to have meaning? You're dancing because you enjoy it.
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3.28.2008
New song: The Warm Rain. I had the title kicking around for years, and a week ago the song came to me while at the playground with Astrid. Huge thanks, as always, to DW, and to his friend Lisa, who added just the right cloudy day backup vocals.
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3.26.2008
It is indeed true that we live in tragic times. But too many people confuse tragedy with despair. "Tragedy," D.H. Lawrence said, "ought to be a great kick at misery." This is a healthy and immediately applicable thought. There are so many things today deserving such a kick.
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3.24.2008
Do you think poop has ghosts? -Dale Gribble
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3.20.2008
Really digging Nick Caves's new "Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!!" Here is an article I wrote about him a few years back. A very engaging fellow.
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3.17.2008
We all know what it is like to read whole paragraphs, and even pages of a book without assimilating a word. Few of us realize that we spend most of our lives in such a state: perceiving the present - present sounds, sights, tastes, and sensations - only dimly, through a veil of thought. We spend our lives telling ourselves the story of past and future, while the reality of the present goes largely unexplored.
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3.14.2008
The drawback to rediscovering home truths is that when the excitement fades the reaffirmations turn back into platitudes.
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3.12.2008
More past regained: Years ago, I sold a pile of my photos through a stock agency in Japan called Mega Press. I had long lost touch with them, until recently when I came across one of my pictures on the cover of this CD. I got a hold of Mega Press, and not only did they pay me what I'd been owed, but they also returned my photos, many of which were taken 15 to 20 years ago. I've posted a lot of them on my gallery page.
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3.10.2008
Apparently, I'm still not touring in Boston right now.
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3.3.2008
My friend Natalia, who has sung on many of my tunes, has just recorded some her own, which you can listen to here.
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2.29.2008
"Meet me after 7 at the Jack in the Box," trills Peggy with the golden locks in Mission Bay. Hard to believe that this is the same guy singing A Wonderful Life. Oh, I was so much older then.
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2.27.2008
It's been my experience that a person betrays his or her own darkest secret when making observations about your failings.
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2.26.2008
Astrid-logical: "How do you go to a picnic with no sandwiches? You just forget them."
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2.21.2008
Mission Impossible: Greg "Barney" Morris tears into his rendition of The Look of Love.
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2.20.2008
If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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2.18.2008
Overheard on the subway:
Smart person: "Like, what's MIT?"
Smarter person: "Like, I think it's, like, a techie school."
Smartest person" "Yeah, you need to be, like, super smart to go there."
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2.14.2008
Astrid loves Ringo.
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2.13.2008
Synchronicity.
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2.11.2008
Man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.
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2.8.2008
"Art is not meant to rally the troops. A good political speech is meant to do that. Art speaks to our dream nature, our secret desires, our wordless understanding of the world."
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2.6.2008
This post on Josh Haden's blog got me to thinking of my bygone days in Los Angeles, and mostly of Yuca's, one of the best Mexican eateries in the city. The taquerias here in Boston are just no match.
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1.31.2008
For some reason, my song, Walk Away, is being downloaded at a rate of about 2,800 times a week. Who are you? Where are you?
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1.30.2008
I'll buy a gas station or open a small TV repair shop in Tampa. I'll move in with an attractive divorcee, a clerk who sells beauty products in a department store. She'll be tired of sleeping with people in motels that are so well lit outside you can never get the room dark enough. We'll sit in the backyard of our trailer in those chairs that have straps on them, next to a chipped birdbath. We'll grow old together. Then, one day, I'll get a hernia when I'm fishing in my small boat and hook a cinderblock. She'll turn to Jesus, who has snake hips, is quite lean, blond, a pretty fair surfer, has a beautiful tenor voice, plays pedal steel guitar and would be a fine dirt-bike scrambler except for his robes. She'll go to church wearing a shiny blue dress with frills around the neck, a hat with a little bunch of cherries, a purse, gloves and sensible shoes. And there will be no scroll on our doorway, only the totemic pink flamingo, made of plaster of Paris, on our front lawn.
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1.25.2008
A joke isn't a joke when you hurt someone. -Fat Albert
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1.22.2008
New song: The Milkman's Matinee. Me and DW get down in a cosmic hoedown with banjo and lap steel. Yee-haw.
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1.18.2008
Why I love religious dogma, Part 1: "The new theory that I would like to introduce here is that due to the incredibly large number of engrams on the whole track, the erasure of basic-basic does not always cause all later engrams to erase."
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1.16.2008
Is a cliche only authentic when it becomes habit?
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1.14.2008
With Astrid possibly starting kindergarten in the fall, we're looking into the schools she might attend. Here's how one Boston-area school describes how it is preparing its students for "educational success": "Children are directly involved in learning how to read and learning to become readers who enjoy the power of reading. Children are engaged in reader's and writer's workshop. Through these process-oriented strategies, children are which they share their reading and writing with a larger audience." Scary.
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1.10.2008
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
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1.8.2008
Intelligent, dispassionate, unlikely to be seduced by the trappings of power ... isn't it time for a robot to be the next U.S. president?
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1.4.2007
A new Brian Wilson song: Heaven. And it is.
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12.27.2007
For those of you who can't wait, the opening scene of the new season of Lost.
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12.24.2007
... roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair ...
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12.21.2007
"After sin comes repentance. but if that isn't followed by forgiveness, buddy you're on a hard road indeed."
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12.13.2007
If all men are created equal, does that mean the crazy person shouting outside my window is Einstein?
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12.11.2007
Room with a view.
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12.7.2007
The other day I saw a young woman with a cellphone in her ear walk across the tracks directly in front of a moving subway train. The conductor rang his bell and blew his whistle, but the woman didn't even flinch - she just kept on walking and gabbing. The train missed her by just a few feet. I had to wonder what she would've thought had she survived being run over. "Couldn't the train see I was talking?!" An unjust war rages on, while back at home people are lost in iPod oblivion.
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12.3.2007
Jokes are funny because they have strong muscles. -Astrid
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11.30.2007
Quite possibly my all-time favorite soundtrack.
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11.28.2007
Zsa Zsa Gabor + Gabor Sazbo = Zsa Zsa Szabo Gabor Gabor
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11.26.2007
Home fucking is killing prostitution.
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11.20.2007
This is My Story. What's yours?
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11.17.2007
Info on the new collection, 33 1/3 Greatest Hits Vol. 2, which features an excerpt from my book, "DJ Shadow's Endtroducing."
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11.14.2007
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"
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11.12.2007
Why I love soul music: Jackie Lee's Darkest Days.
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11.9.2007
Pretty maids all in a row.
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11.7.2007
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
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11.2.2007
Manna for beatheads.
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10.31.2007
Gave way to you.
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10.29.2007
What appears on the scanner that Maggie is dragged through on the opening credits of "The Simpsons": 847.63. Now you know.
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10.24.2007
"Experiencing like breathing is a rhythm of intakings and outgivings. Their succession is punctuated and made a rhythm by the existence of intervals, periods in which one phase is ceasing and the other is inchoate and preparing. We compare the course of a conscious experience to the alternate flights and perchings of a bird. The flights are intimately connected with one another; they are not so many unrelated lightings succeeded by a number of unrelated hoppings. Each resting place is experience is an undergoing in which is absorbed and taken home the consequences of prior doing, and unless the doing is that of utter caprice or sheer routine, each doing carries in itself meaning that has to be extracted and conserved. If we move too rapidly, we get away from the base of supplies - of accrued meaning - and the experience is flustered, thin and confused."
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10.19.2007
As long as people cling to the dogma of religion there will never be peace in this world. Because there will always be someone right and always someone wrong. Which means war.
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10.15.2007
What I've really tried to do is illustrate that the reason rock is still around is that it's not youth's music. It is the music of the frustrated and dissatisfied. -Pete Townshend
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10.12.2007
"The fundamental cause of the problem is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt."
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10.11.2007
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he had a Mexican name?
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10.9.2007
Go Sox, cheers Astrid.
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10.4.2007
It's a simple principle: The only thing that matters is what you do, not what you say you'll do.
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10.3.2007
You say it's your birthday. It's my birthday too, yeah.
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10.2.2007
Apropos of nothing, I'm an extra in Disney's The Game Plan, which, inexplicably, was No. 1 at the box office this past weekend. Here's me, an anonymous nobody in the background.
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10.1.2007
When it gets right down to it, life is nothing more than a complicated dance we do around immovable objects.
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9.27.2007
I agree with the Chekhov character who, when in a crisis, he is reminded that "this, too, shall pass," responds, "Nothing passes."
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9.21.2007
Girl on the subway: So he asked me, like, do I like to drink Diet Coke and I said, like, of course, and he said, like, well if you drink Diet Coke, like, it'll give you cellulite, and I said, like, whatever, like to each their own.
Guy on the subway: What does that mean?
Girl on the subway: Like what does what mean?
Guy on the subway: What does 'to each their own' mean?
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9.17.2007
Motto: To be small and to stay small.
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9.13.2007
Astrid: Daddy, I pooped.
Me: Why did that happen?
Astrid: Because we have butts.
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9.6.2007
Now you know: Harvard's Natural History Museum smells like mothballs.
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9.5.2007
So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable Creature, since it enables one to find or make a Reason for everything one has a mind to do.
Exhibit A and B.
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8.28.2007
With both my mother and father gone, I guess you could say I'm an orphan.
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8.27.2007
Things fall apart - that much we know. The question is what to do about it.
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8.23.2007
Sometimes you build a house from the foundation up, other times you renovate the one you have. Same goes with songs. Take something that's a bit of a shambles, re-record most of the parts, add new lyrics, a fresh coat of paint and presto: The Sum of All Fears. Thanks DW.
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8.21.2007
"You are perpetually spending your energy in the act of balancing yourself. You are seized with a sort of spiritual vertigo, you totter on the brink, your hair stands on end, you can't believe that beneath your feet lies an immeasurable abyss. It comes through a passionate desire to embrace people, to show them your love. The more you reach out toward the world the more the world retreats. Nobody wants real love, real hatred. Nobody wants you to put your hand in his sacred entrails -- that's only for the priest in the hour of sacrifice. While you live, while the blood's still warm, you are to pretend that there is no such thing as blood and no such thing as a skeleton beneath the covering of the flesh. Keep off the grass! That's the motto by which people live."
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8.20.2007
"Invasion," the latest "Body Snatchers" remake, has a reshot feel-good ending just like the '50s original. How far we have not come since the the terrifying feel-bad ending of the '70s version.
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8.17.2007
After 52 years, I am left with the melancholy sensation that my life has been spent in a perpetual state of parallel play, alongside, but distinctly apart from, the rest of humanity.
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8.15.2007
Where am I? Who am I? How did I come to be here? What is this thing called the world? How did I come into the world? Why was I not consulted? And if I am compelled to take part in it, where is the director? I want to see him.
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8.13.2007
All these appositions - communism versus capitalism, female versus male, poor versus rich, black versus white - maybe, in a way, they're red herrings, because they keep you searching for something: they keep you dissatisfied and hold out the hope that you will be satisfied, someday.
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8.10.2007
"Keep the ball on your eye!" -Astrid
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8.9.2007
Here is a new one: Billy Take the Wheel. It's for my mom, who passed away last week after a long bout with Alzhiemer's.
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8.7.2007
Isn't it true that we continue to strive all our lives in order to find peace and fulfillment? It's like a journey on a pier that goes out endlessly into the ocean without ever reaching the opposite shore. We never seem able to realize that everything in life is ephemeral, that new problems will always arise to meet us, that frustration never ends, that all is in flux and that there is nothing solid to hold on to, not even the love you share with another person. But how did we get the idea that there were ultimate solutions in life in the first place? Most of us were brought up on fairy tales, books, TV programs and movies in which there was a linear progression. At the beginning, the characters were happy, then something terrible happened and they were unhappy. Then they set out to overcome the difficulty, finally succeeded, and everyone was happy again - and that was the end of the story. Our early education was based on the premise of problem solving: every problem posed a challenge that could be solved - mathematic, scientific, whatever. There was an answer to every question; all you had to do was find it. Adults and the established authorities are committed to convincing children that there are linear solutions to all problems, and nowhere are you taught the continuous incompleteness of life. Oh, we talk about it, but inwardly we believe there is an answer, an end, a conclusion. I have a theory that all the modern books and movies that allude to absurd character of life and suggest the ultimate meaninglessness of human activity are fashionable only because people like to pay lip service to ideas of nihilism and senselessness. They like to pretend that they no longer believe in the old myths we were taught as children. That is, they effect an existential attitude but they don't really believe it. It's a kind of a vicarious appreciation of meaninglessness. Soap operas offer a perfect example of life's inconclusiveness. In them, people lead lives filled with striving. Every scene raises a problem and suggests that its solution is imminent. But if you follow any of these programs for more than a week or two, it becomes evident that not only will these people's problems never be solved but that they will never be completely stated. They will continue to exist and accrue, and the solutions are actually, or inevitably become, new problems. And further, these programs are among the most steady and lucrative on the air today, which means that there is an enormous audience who, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, still hope and believe these characters will solve their problems soon. The same idea is communicated in commercials. They give you the impression that you can unravel the knots of life simply, and they fail to confront - as a matter of fact they completely ignore - the human condition. It's like what Hamlet said about the undiscovered country: to look into the lie of progress, to understand that life may have no meaning, to contemplate the inconclusiveness of each person's struggle for fulfillment is simply too terrifying; that there is no answer, no end, that you'll always be on your way, that life is not a game you can win, but a game that has no end - and all you do is die somewhere in the middle of it.
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8.6.2007
They told each other the story at length, each one supplementing the memory of the other, and, when they had finished: "That was the best time we ever had!" said Frederic. "Yes, you may be right. That was our best time!" said Deslauriers. -Flaubert, "The Sentimental Education"
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7.30.2007
"You must be like me / you must suffer in rhythm.
Some of these days you'll miss me, honey."
Rest in peace, Mom.
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7.25.2007
I very much hope that the world will become a better place. And if it does, our grandchildren may look at us the way young people today regard the generation who collaborated with the Nazis. They'll say, 'I do not understand you.' We will explain that life simply was the way it was. 'Famines came and went and nobody did anything about it. People died of hunger to provide us with cheaper coffee.' We'll have to admit that we knew but chose to do nothing about it.
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7.24.2007
With each passing day, the body count rises in Iraq. Elsewhere, grief counsellors are standing by to assist those traumatized by the death of a major character in the new Harry Potter book.
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7.23.2007
"I'm not Elvis!"
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7.18.2007
My DJ Shadow book moves up a notch again to No. 12 (out of 49 titles). Thanks to all who've picked it up. Come November, an excerpt will be featured in 33 1/3's "Greatest Hits, Vol. 2."
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7.17.2007
Here is a sequel of sorts to "My Dinner With Andre," entitled "Astrid's Afternoon With Scott."
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7.16.2007
"The essential thing is contingency. I mean that one cannot define existence as a necessity. To exist is simply to be there; those who exist let themselves be encountered, but you can never deduce anything from them. I believe that there are people who have understood this. Only they tried to overcome this contingency by inventing a necessary, causal being. But no necessary being can explain existence: contingency is not a delusion, a probability, which can be dissipated; it is the absolute, consequently, the perfect free gift. All is free, this park, this city, and myself."
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7.13.2007
People hang on to these images of father, mother, husband, wife because they seem to provide some firm ground. But there's no wife there. What does that mean - a wife? A husband? A son? A baby holds your hand and then suddenly there's this huge man lifting you off the ground, and then he's gone. Where's that son?
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7.10.2007
Astrid turns 3. Whew.
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7.9.2007
Everything is going too fast and yet not fast enough.
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7.2.2007
We have witnessed lying, humiliation, killing, deportation and torture, and it each instance it was impossible to persuade the people who were doing these things not to do them, because they were sure of themselves and because there is no way of persuading an abstraction, or, to put it another way, the representative of an ideology. -Camus
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6.27.2007
The world of explanations and reasons is not the world of existence.
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6.25.2007
"Objects should not touch because they are not alive. You use them, put them back in place, you live among them. They are useful nothing more. But they touch me, it is unbearable. I am afraid of being in contact with them as though they were living beasts."
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6.22.2007
When you gaze for long into the abyss, Nietzsche says, the abyss also gazes into you.
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6.18.2007
A man without a face.
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6.15.2007
"Today's high will be 70 degrees. Currently it's 74."
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6.11.2007
Twenty years of "The Sopranos" and in the end the cat did it? Wha?
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6.9.2007
A few weeks back (see entry for 5.20), Dave and I recorded a new song called Goodbye Richmond. Last night, Natalia added some amazing background vocals and here is the result, another song about memory and loss.
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6.6.2007
Their tastes and opinions were identical. Often whichever of them was listening would cry, "So do I!" And the other in his turn would chime in, "So do I!" Then their interminable laments against Fate: "Why were the heavens against us! If we had met ..." "Oh! If I had been younger!" he sighed. "No! If I had been older." And they imagined a life of nothing but love, fecund enough to fill the vastest solitude, exceeding all joys, defying all sorrows, whose hours would have melted away in the a perpetual exchange of confidences and which have become something shining and lofty, like the shimmering of stars. -Flaubert, "The Sentimental Education"
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6.4.2007
Me: Where did we ever get you?
Astrid: The clock.
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6.1.2007
"We live with those retrievals from childhood that coalesce and echo throughout our lives, the way shattered pieces of glass in a kaleidoscope reappear in new forms and are songlike in their refrains and rhymes, making up a single monologue. We live permanently in the recurrence of our own stories, whatever story we tell."
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5.31.2007
Now you see that only dreams can send you where you want to be. -Nico
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5.24.2007
Useful tips on dating courtesy from Mary Weiss.
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5.22.2007
Astrid explains religion to us all.
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5.20.2007
I spent the day in the studio yesterday with my buddy Dave and we put together a new song called Goodbye Richmond. This is a rough mix, with Natalia's background vocals to be added when she comes to town in a few weeks.
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5.17.2007
A good friend of mine, Scott Cooper, has written a fascinating book on the art and science of coolhunting called - what else? - Coolhunting. You need to get this.
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5.16.2007
Recent words Astrid has coined: montreen, astramoke, kathernon, mary mashup.
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5.14.2007
Every day is a comedy, every meal is a feast.
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5.7.2007
There are times when my life is like a Rube Goldberg contraption: knock over one little thing and the whole deal goes haywire.
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5.3.2007
Apparently I'm on tour.
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5.1.2007
"With more and more music fans turning to online media for information and product every day, it should come as no great shock that Amplifier magazine has opted to forge headfirst into the future with the expansion of our website and to discontinue our print edition." Finally ... at least now I no longer have to cringe when I visit my local newsstand.
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4.30.2007
"At least two major publications - the New York Post and People - digitally obscured a portion of a photo from the Virginia Tech shootings. In the photo, emergency personnel are seen carrying injured student Kevin Sterne out of the Norris Hall classroom building, his clothes soaked with blood. Standards being what they are, the concern about the photograph was not the shocking amount of blood, but whether the student's penis was visible."
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4.26.2007
Any honest neurotic could probably tell you: the emotional payoff of an obsession is not obtaining some longed-for goal - it's the obsession itself, which fulfills certain needs. If it didn't it wouldn't be an obsession.
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4.23.2007
Categories of knowledge, according to Donald Rumsfeld: known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns.
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4.19.2007
When extreme acts of violence occur, the question is: Why does this happen? Perhaps it should be: Why doesn't this happen more often? Our culture has a rapacious fascination with and indifference toward violence; ever wonder why movies with sex scenes are rated R but that ones where thousands of faceless characters are senselessly blown away are rated PG-13? Ever wonder why unjust war rages on while back at home college students are lost in iPod oblivion? We act as if we mourn our losses, yet what will change?
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4.18.2007
The world according to Garelick Farms: "The key to life is what you add to it. Add something."
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4.16.2007
The best part of wanting something is not having it. Or is it, the best part of having something is not wanting it?
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4.12.2007
Farewell Kurt ... who will carry on with the Children's Crusade?
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4.7.2007
Here's a new song called The Bread of Dreams. If you have a loved one suffering from Alzheimer's, perhaps you can relate. This one's for my mom. Thanks to Dave for putting his guts into this.
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4.3.2007
Nerds and geeks are so often romanticized in pop culture as being somehow heroic that it's easy to forget that they are ... nerds and geeks. Like the geeky nerd on the subway yesterday who shouted, "Will you get that thing to shut up!" at me when Astrid was crying, something that 2-year-olds do from time to time. Fortunately, because he was a nerd and a geek - with his bad haircut, ugly glasses and stupid mustache - it felt good to watch him tremble when I shouted back at him, "This is a human being, not a thing, you fucking asshole!"
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4.2.2007
No one's better than anyone else and everyone's the best at everything.
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3.29.2007
Asked and answered.
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3.23.2007
If God is everywhere, is he in the toilet?
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3.19.2007
My DJ Shadow book moves up a notch to No. 13.
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3.12.2007
I'm standing in an overcrowded, overheated subway train, Astrid in one arm, glomming on to the poll with the other while just beneath us two pretty BU girls stare vacantly at a cellphone, unaware of our presence. And I think, this is the way the world ends, not with a bang or a whimper but with indifference. An unjust war rages on, while back at home college students are lost in iPod oblivion.
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3.8.2007
This is my proof.
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3.6.2007
Ism: Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed.
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3.5.2007
"I often feel lost in the essence of the day, the mild wind and easy clouds, the graceful easy white ass of the day, that I want nothing more than to become a leaf, not to write about it, but to be taken in and bathed."
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3.2.2007
"My name is Jeff Albertson, but everybody calls me Comic Book Guy."
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3.1.2007
It's a small world after all.
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2.27.2007
Lloyd Dobler-ism: I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.
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2.26.2007
"Who are you wearing?"
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2.14.2007
Quit being goofy!
I not goofy ... I Astrid!
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2.8.2007
Sound advice from Harvard Management Update: Prepare your elevator speech so you can produce a crisp answer when another executive asks what you're working on. Example:
Executive A: What are you planning to do next?
Executive B: Shit myself.
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2.6.2007
Turn off the dark and make it sunny. -Astrid
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2.4.2007
In 2001, after my dad died of cancer, a song came to me that seemed to reflect my overwhelming feelings of loss and despair. I was able to record it at the time, and even though I liked the tune, it never felt quite right. Yesterday, with the help of my buddy DW, I took another crack at it. We stripped away everything but the vocal and tremolo guitar, and then added drums, bass, guitars and organ. Here is "My Story" redux. It could be your story, too.
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1.29.2007
When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross.
-Sinclair Lewis
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1.18.2007
Generation Now: turn on (cell phone), tune in (iPod), drop out (disaffect). "But there's an unjust war raging." "We're not being drafted. We don't care."
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1.16.2007
A belief like a guillotine - as heavy, as light.
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1.15.2007
"At the heart of the Shambhala society is a commitment to experiencing the world as it is, since all aspects of life are seen as fundamentally and unconditionally good" ... except for the those aspects that you hide under the bed like old letters. Not everyone, apparently, is fundamentally and unconditionally good.
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1.11.2007
Q: What is soul? A: A hamhock in your cornflakes.
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1.9.2007
More than a year ago I was at a cafe and a young woman who was closely observing Astrid came up to us and offered to knit her a wool hat. I thought it was rather extraordinary that a total stranger would be so generous. She told me to meet her at the cafe in a week, and she would have the hat. I didn't see her again, until about a year later. I asked her what happened to the hat. She said she got busy, and then she forgot. But I didn't let it go. "Why promise something and then not deliver?" She had no response, and her face soured. I'm sure she had good intentions, but as the saying goes, you can't live in good intentions.
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1.3.2007
"In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; / And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. / Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity ... / Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. / And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. / And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."
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1.1.2007
Ring in the new year with a rare, unreleased Beatles track called India.
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12.29.2006
Yesterday, Dave Westner and I finished recording a new song of mine called The Third Rail. Natalia added just the right amount of icing on top. I kind of like this one. It gets to the heart of where I'm at right now.
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12.25.2006
"Let's move some thangs around here. / Can I do it? / Can I really get up and do it? / Can I really get up and do my thang? / Like a sex machine?"
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12.22.2006
Feel free to fill in the blanks.
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12.21.2006
If I meet someone I don't know, someone slightly naive, and they ask me what I do, I say I'm a painter, and if they ask me what kind of painter, I say an abstract painter. It's a way to get out of saying anything else. Or I just say I'm a modern artist. But I don't know what kind of artist I am. -Jasper Johns
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12.19.2006
What's so funny?
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12.18.2006
My "Endtroducing" book is holding steady at No. 14 (out of the 37 in the series).
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12.14.2006
The old hop-smoking rod-riding underworld had a name for it: "a member of the Johnson family." Wouldn't rush to the law if he smelled hop in the hall, doesn't care what the fags in the back room are doing, stands by his word. ... Yes, this world would be a pretty easy and pleasant place to live in if everybody could just mind his own business and let others do the same. But a wise old black faggot said to me years ago: "Some people are shits, darling." I was never able to forget it. ... Most of the trouble in the world has been caused by folks who can't mind their own business, because they have no business of their own to mind, any more than a smallpox virus has. ... M.O.B. [minding one's own business] opponents cling to the victimless crime concept, equating drug-taking or private sexual behaviour with robbery and murder. If the right to mind one's own business is recognized, the whole shit position is untenable, and Hell hath no more vociferous fury than an endangered parasite's.
-W.S. Burroughs, from "My Own Business"
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12.12.2006
Me: Do you have a DVD of "Duck Soup" by the Marx Brothers?
Record store girl: Are they a band or what?
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12.11.2006
If Jesus had a handgun, do you think he might've won?
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12.8.2006
In tribute to John Lennon, here's an unreleased Beatles tune called Watching Rainbows.
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12.6.2006
Not just a comma.
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11.30.2006
By the way, Rosebud is a sled. Vader is Luke's father. It's Laura Palmer's dad. And that chick in "The Crying Game"? Not really a chick.
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11.29.2006
Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease." Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."
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11.20.2006
The question is: Where is Thumkin?
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11.15.2006
"Death is a dialogue between the spirit and the dust."
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11.15.2006
"I am puzzled as the newborn child / I am troubled at the tide: / Should I stand amid the breakers? / Should I lie with Death my bride? / Hear me sing, "Swim to me, Swim to me, Let me enfold you: / Here I am, Here I am, Waiting to hold you."
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11.14.2006
Beware of those who say, "I know this too well to be able to express it." For if they cannot do so, this is because they don't know it or because out of laziness they stopped at the outer crust.
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11.13.2006
We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real? -Ray Bradbury
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11.9.2006
What velocity does yogurt need to achieve to qualify as Gogurt?
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11.7.2006
That's me on the right on the set of the Rock's upcoming movie "The Gameplan." Director Dave is telling me where I can find the Porta Potty.
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11.6.2006
I have always been a sucker for false sincerity.
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11.2.2006
Mucho thanks to Josef, Egbert and James!
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10.31.2006
Goodbye 117 Park Drive. I hope that some day someone will dig out what I'm sure is a dead body buried under the back stairwell. The putrid odor is fairly overwhelming (as are the flies). Clue to the cops: talk to Tony, the slimey old geezer in apartment 22. He's been boasting to me about his Mafia connections for years.
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10.30.2006
"On this bridge, Lorca warns: life is not a dream. Beware, and beware, and beware! And so many think because then happened, now isn't. But didn't I mention, the ongoing WOW is happening, right now! We are all co-authors of this dancing exuberance, where even our inabilities are having a roast! We are the authors of ourselves, co-authoring a gigantic Dostoevsky novel starring clowns! This entire thing we're involved with called the world, is an opportunity to exhibit how exciting alienation can be. Life is a matter of a miracle that is collected over time by moments flabbergasted to be in each others' presence. The world is an exam, to see if we can rise into the direct experiences. Our eyesight is here as a test to see if we can see beyond it, matter is here as a test for our curiosity, doubt is here as an exam for our vitality. Thomas Mann wrote that he would rather participate in life than write a hundred stories. Giacometti was once run down by a car, and he recalled falling in to a lucid faint, a sudden exhilaration, as he realized at last, something was happening to him. An assumption develops that you cannot understand life and live life simultaneously. I do not agree entirely, which is to say I do not exactly disagree. I would say, that life understood is life lived. But the paradoxes bug me. And I can learn to love, and make love to the paradoxes that bug me. And on really romantic evenings of Self, I go salsa dancing with my confusion. Before you drift off, don't forget, which is to say remember. Because remembering is so much more a psychotic activity than forgetting. Lorca, in that same poem, said that the iguana will bite those who do not dream. And, as one realizes, that one is a dream-figure in another person's dream: that is self-awareness!"
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10.26.2006
Spot the pattern: Adolf Hitler, failed painter; Fidel Castro, failed baseball player; Charles Manson, failed pop star; Kim Jong-il, failed movie producer.
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10.25.2006
It's amazing what we do, as people, to run away from the past. God, the swamplands we're willing to wade through to get around the truth.
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10.23.2006
Lisa: It's Latin, Dad. The language of Plutarch.
Homer: Mickey Mouse's dog?
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10.18.2006
One must love life before loving its meaning, Dostoevsky says. Yes, and when the love of life disappears, no meaning consoles us for it.
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10.15.2006
My father passed away five years ago to the day.
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10.12.2006
I do not believe that evil exists as an abstract force, exacting itself upon us, seducing us into committing heinous acts. Undoubtably, human beings are quite capable of being cruel, narcissistic and megalomanical. Indeed, people lie, steal, cheat, commit murder, blow up shit - but I do not believe they do these things because an outside force of evil is acting upon them. Rather, it is something from within that prevents them from seeing the ramifications of their actions, thus disallowing them from personal responsibility. Watch any of these so-called reality shows and it quickly becomes evident that most of these "characters" have no idea what they are saying or doing. They are just behaving. They have no apparent self-awareness. If they did, they would not be on these programs. It's as if they are asleep and refuse to wake up, because waking up would mean facing the consequences of their own actions. One has to wonder how different the world would be if we were all fully awake, if we all fully understood what our brain is telling us. It is not the devil that encourages us to behave abhorrently, just as it is not the devil that caused terrorists to crash jets into the World Trade Center. Just as it is not God that told us to go to war against Iraq. It is what's inside of us; it is in how much clarity we have about what we think - and what we choose to do. "Nothing is at last sacred," Emerson wrote, "but the integrity of your own mind."
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10.10.2006
Last night I remixed Invisible. You can buy my album here. All proceeds go to the Put Astrid Through College Fund.
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10.9.2006
Maybe heaven is a place where everything that has happened has happened, a place where people sleep with the peace of knowing how everthing turns out.
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10.6.2006
Is there much of a difference between a liar and a fabulist who wants you to believe because she wants to believe?
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10.3.2006
You say it's your birthday. It's my birthday too, yeah.
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10.2.2006
"With limitations, new forms can be derived."
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9.27.2006
Here's a song called Altitude by my buddy Dave Westner, who, as I've said before, is some kind of fooking genius. He's playing all the instruments, except for the strings, which are by his sister. Anyone in need of an aces engineer should contact him through his site.
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9.26.2006
Nifty DJ Shadow interview in Remixmag.
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9.25.2006
Potsie ... the original Jesus of cool.
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9.22.2006
Twenty years ago I covered a bass-fishing tournament for True magazine. The winner of the tournament was a laconic fishing guide from Arkansas. I spent a day with him picking up tips on how to catch fish - the conditions of structure, season, sun, etc. I asked him at least if there were things to watch out for in all this finding the right spot to fish. "Nostalgia," he said. I figured out what he meant. I'd spent hours plugging away at a stretch of water where I remembered with great pleasure catching a beauty. But if the fish aren't there now, all you catch is nostalgia. Moonbeams of your peculiar unrelatable memory. -John Casey
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9.19.2006
'Heart' Attack: Passengers on a flight from France to Mauritius have filed suit against Air France after musician Bonnie Tyler performed a song at the request of the co-pilot. The passengers, believed to be Belgian, complained to the airline after the Welsh singer performed part of her 1983 hit "Total Eclipse of the Heart" at the request of the co-pilot, who retired after the flight, The Mail reported. The complaining passengers reportedly claimed they were traumatized by the experience and had feared for their safety during the celebration. The complaint eventually escalated into a legal dispute.
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9.13.2006
Art is a lie that tells us the truth. -Picasso
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9.6.2006
Now you can buy me at Wal-Mart.
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9.4.2006
Is a memory something you have or something you've lost?
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9.1.2006
No. 14 with a bullet - my DJ Shadow book, that is.
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8.31.2006
Life is cluttered with events that make us long to grow older.
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8.29.2006
I'm on it: "Assalamu Alaikum, My name is Musa Kabir, a business man in Iran. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when Allah gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that Allah has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as few close friends. I want Allah to be merciful to me and accept my soul, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I will do on earth. I need help from a reliable and honest person I can trust in the name of Allah the merciful. Considering my present predicament and the political situation in Iran, I now seek your assistance to help me clear $25 million that I have with a recognize bank in Europe and I will want you to help me collect this deposited fund and dispatched it to charity organizations as I will instruct you to do. I don't need any telephone communication in this regards because of my health and some of my relatives around me. I don't want them to know about this new development and with Allah the merciful, all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of my lawyer in Europe and I will also issue you a letter of recognition through my lawyer that will prove you as the next of kin to this fund base on my instructions. I want you to always pray for me and I have set aside 18% for you for your time. Please send a reply through my below email address with your full contact information for more private and confidential communication and note that any delay in your reply will give me room in searching for another person for this same purpose because you are the only person I have contacted for now. Please, inform me that you will act according to what I told you. May great Allah be with you, Mr. Musa Kabir."
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8.28.2006
The freedom to act includes the freedom to do evil, and the murderer within us is no further away than a walk on the beach in a bad mood. People kill because they vaguely imagine, like a moral haze like the one overhanging the sun-scorched sand, that on the other side of murder lies some kind of expiation, or the thrill of rising above the mundate, or a way of pushing past alienation, or a shotcut to significance. People kill because they can.
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8.23.2006
The way we look at the world is the way things really are. I stopped trying to figure things out a long time ago.
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8.22.2006
Good rock 'n' roll ... I don't know. I guess it's just something that makes you feel alive .... To me, good rock 'n' roll also encompasses other things, like Hank Williams and Charlie Mingus and a lot of things that aren't strictly defined as rock and roll. Rock 'n' roll is like an attitude, it's not a musical form of a strict sort. It's a way of doing things, of approaching things. Like anything can be rock 'n' roll. -Lester Bangs
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8.17.2006
New song: I Need You. Recorded the whole thing in one marathon session on Saturday with Dave W, who is some kinda genius.
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8.11.2006
Today would've been my father's 85th birthday.
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8.9.2006
"... for here there is no place that does not see you."
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8.3.2006
I loved the graciousness of heroin, the way everything externalized and obvious in the daylight opened its shirt and revealed its soft pale breasts. The world slept curled in its own foolhardiness. And my wife came carefully over the blankets to me and seemed not to mind who I was. We inserted words into spaces in the rain. For years I remembered the words and whispered them to myself, half thinking I might conjure her back into the world. They never caught us. -Charlie Smith, "Heroin"
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8.2.2006
First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.
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8.1.2006
The fly has found its way out of the fly bottle.
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7.28.2006
"At the heart of the Shambhala society is a commitment to experiencing the world as it is, since all aspects of life are seen as fundamentally and unconditionally good." Too bad we don't practice what we preach.
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7.27.2006
Lisa: That's specious logic. By that same reasoning I could say this rock prevents tiger attacks.
Homer: How do you mean?
Lisa: Well, you don't see any tigers around, do you?
Homer: I'd like to buy that rock.
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7.26.2006
"Don't be afraid to ask for credit as our ways of refusing are very polite."
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7.24.2006
When two elephants fight, only the grass dies.
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7.20.2006
Usually, strange music is most efficently conveyed by strangers.
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7.18.2006
A fanatical, fundamentalist sect hijacks a nation and sets about invading other countries ... how is the Bush Administration any different than Hezbollah?
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7.14.2006
No. 15 with a bullet.
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7.13.2006
Something's happening at the zoo.
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7.12.2006
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here / And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear / That I'm not here." -Jugband Blues
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7.7.2006
The first requirement for having a relatively smooth relationship with a narcissist is physical distance. Given distance you can get along with narcissists by treating them as infants: you give them whatever they want or need whenever they ask and do not expect any reciprocation at all, do not expect them to show the slightest interest in you or your life, do not expect them to be able to do anything that you need or want, do not expect them to apologize or make amends or show any consideration for your feelings, do not expect them to take ordinary responsibility in any way. But note: they are not infants; infants require this kind of care for only a brief period, after which they are on the road to autonomy, whereas narcissists never outgrow their demands for dedicated attention to their infantile needs 168 hours a week. Adult narcissists can be as demanding of your time and energy as little babies but without the gratification of their growing or learning anything from what they suck from you. Babies love you back, but adult narcissists are like vampires: they will take all you can give while giving nothing back, then curse you for running dry and discard you as a waste of their precious time. It is also essential that you keep emotional distance from narcissists. They're pretty good at maintaining a conventional persona in superficial associations with people who mean absolutely nothing to them, and they'll flatter the hell out of you if you have something they can use or if, for some reason, they perceive you as an authority figure. But, as soon as you try to get close to them, they'll say that you are too demanding. The abrupt change from decent treatment to outright abuse is very shocking and bewildering. Once they know you are emotionally attached to them, they expect to be able to shove you around like a piece of furniture. If you object, then they'll say that you obviously don't understand or care about them. If you should be so uppity as to express a mind and heart of your own, then they will cut you off, trashing you on the way out the door. If you fail respond to their outbursts, they will find all manner of devious and hurtful ways to attack you. Yes, it's possible to get along with narcissists, but it's probably not worth bothering with. Narcissists are threatened and enraged by trivial disagreements, mistakes and misunderstandings, plus they twist the truth to serve their ends and they have evil mouths and will say anything. So, if you continue to have a relationship with narcissists, expect big trouble sooner or later.
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7.6.2006
"This is my usual writing problem: I come up with a beginning of a story that I am excited about, but then I get stuck and move on to something else."
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7.5.2006
Davy Jones, my little Monkee, what the *%$#@ are you talking about?
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7.3.2006
There's this idea, if we can prove that the ark existed then we can prove that the story existed, and more importantly, we can prove that God existed. -Bruce Feiler, author of "Where God Was Born"
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6.30.2006
Mankind is a rope fastened between animal and superman - a rope over an abyss. -Neitzsche
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6.28.2006
Judge a pig competition? But I'm no genius ... or are I? -Homer Simpson
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6.27.2006
Please feel free to fill in the blanks.
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6.22.2006
That was then and this is now.
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6.20.2006
Astrid's brush with Johnny Cash.
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6.15.2006
A review of Paul Simon's "Surprise" as it appears in today's Boston Phoenix.
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6.13.2006
Religion is nothing but bad concepts held place of good ones for all time. It is the denial - at once full of hope and full of fear - of the vastitude of human ignorance.
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6.1.2006
"I said, 'Amen,' and the room was engulfed in a huge ball of fire."
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5.30.2006
In the middle of nowhere.
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5.25.2006
I think this reviewer missed the point of what I was trying to accomplish with the DJ Shadow book. I wanted it to be about Shadow's life, and the experiences he had that led to make the album. I thought him talking about what samples he used and how he constructed the "orchestral ideas behind this groundbreaking sonic collage" would be academic and sort of boring.
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5.22.2006
Astrid at 22 months.
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5.19.2006
Kinda my theme song right now. Thanks Mrs. Miller!
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5.17.2006
The ageing heart. To love and yet that nothing can be saved.
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5.15.2006
"We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."
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5.11.2006
Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and oblterate the dailiness of life.
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5.9.2006
"If the cliffs were any closer, / If the water wasn't so bad. / I'd dive for your memory / on the rocks and the sand." -Grant McLennan, 1958-2006
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5.3.2006
The death of a parent, despite our preparation, indeed, despite our age, dislodges things deep within us, sets off reactions that surprise us and that may cut free memories and feelings that we thought had gone to ground long ago. We might, in that indeterminate period they call mourning, be in a submarine, silent on the ocean's bed, aware of the depth charges, now near and now far, buffering us with recollections.
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5.1.2006
Don't forget the real business of the War is buying and selling. The murdering and the violence are self-policing, and can be entrusted to non-professionals. The mass nature of wartime death is useful in many ways. It serves as spectacle, as diversion from the real movements of the War. It provides raw material to be recorded by History, so that children may be taught History as a sequence of violence, battle after battle, and be more prepared for the adult world. Best of all, mass death's a stimulus to just ordinary folks, to try 'n' grab a piece of that Pie while they're still here to gobble it up. The true war is a celebration of markets. Organic markets, carefully styled "black" by the professionals, spring up everywhere. Scrip, Sterling, Reichsmarks continue to move, severe as classical ballet, inside their antiseptic marble chambers. But out there, down here among the people the truer currencies come into being.
-Thomas Pynchon, "Gravity's Rainbow"
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4.25.2006
The old man down the hall has maintained his delusion that "that dame" I live with rebuffed him at the pharmacy last summer because she thought he might be contagious to Astrid. This did not happen. Nor did he succumb to the end-stage prostate cancer he told me he had early last year ("The doctor laughed at me when he said I'd die soon!"). Nor did I take the pencils he accused me of stealing from his apartment. Nor do I believe his many tales of woe, which always seemed far-fetched. Despite the joy he once derived from interacting with Astrid, he prefers to cling to his delusion, and now when he sees me coming, he deliberately turns the other way and acts like I don't exist. Merrily, merrily, merrily. merrily, life is but a dream.
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4.24.2006
The medium, or process, of our time - electronic technology - is reshaping and restructuring patterns of social interdependence and every aspect of our personal life. It is forcing us to reconsider and reevaluate practically every thought, every action, and every institution taken for granted. Everything is changing - you, your family, your neighborhood, your education, your job, your government, and your relation to "the others." -Marshall McLuhan
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4.20.2006
An article on Prince's "3121" as it appears in today's Boston Phoenix.
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4.18.2006
Doris: You have no values. Your whole life: it's nihilism, it's cynicism, it's sarcasm, and orgasm.
Harry: You know, in France, I could run on that slogan and win.
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4.14.2006
I am the pig that roots for unconsidered troofles in the reeky wood of his past. -Dylan Thomas
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4.10.2006
Question: Why do toddler pants have pockets?
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4.7.2006
Then every so often something peculiar happens.
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4.6.2006
Oh my love, where are they, where are / they going / The flash of a hand, streak of / movement, rustle of pebbles. / I ask not out of sorrow, but in wonder. -Czeslaw Milosz
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4.5.2006
It was a great mistake my being born a man. I would have been much more successful as a seagull or a fish. As it is, I will always be a stranger who never feels at home, who is not really wanted, who can never belong, who must always be a little in love with death. -Edmund, the youngest Tyrone son and the Eugene O'Neill alter ego, in "Long Day's Journey Into Night."
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4.3.2006
Friday's report: "Astrid had a wonderful day today we was buggy walk and playing at the park she was interesting past the bridge to played slide with her friends and Yin."
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