Erica: My basic feelings/thoughts are that eliot is a good person with wonderful qualities, and i like him a lot, but well, let's not beat around the bush: he's a narcissist. i know this personality WELL and know that two key traits are that nothing is ever enough; and also that if the narcissist isn't given the attention he wants when he wants it, he will withdraw and/or attack. the only other option is for the other person to simply bow down and surrender and become silenced. i just can't do this ALL the time, and **i** need to be able to express my feelings without being attacked or deleted AND without having all of my more pleasing qualities wiped out. i am really sorry if this is hurtful ... but really, i believe it is true, and should be acknowledged if anything is ever to change.

Chris: In my email I was saying that if you feel there's a problem with Eliot, you need to talk with him. As far as I know, the extent of your reaching out to him was asking him to that open mic night and when he couldn't go (because he already had plans with Dave from the studio), you emailed back a mystifying "Well, I tried." Honestly and clearly talking with him about your feelings would have been a better step toward a REAL friendship. Saying hurtful things in an email lacks courage. I don't think Eliot (or anyone) is perfect, but I don't think he is a narcissist. When did he attack or silence you for expressing your feelings? Rather it's his nature (and journalist background) to probe and get people to explain their feelings more. If you weren't clear in your feelings, perhaps having to explain them made you feel attacked. And saying that the issues are coming from Eliot and then calling him a narcissist shows that you had issues with him, too; it wasn't a one-way street. As for Peter, Eliot and I understand he's not the most sociable person, but we both felt that he doesn't like being with us. We felt uncomfortable about him paying the check whenever we meet for breakfast and refusing our money. It's not like you guys have any more money than we do. Not coming to Astrid's birthday party sent a message to me that he didn't want to be part of our life. I'm surprised you had no idea about this. I, too, want real friends. You and I became friends because we had motherhood in common. I thought our friendship was growing beyond that, but now I don't see how we can go on. More to the point, I don't want it to. I truly feel saddened by this. That's why I wanted to meet and talk; it's too easy to get stuff misunderstood in email. But anyway... I didn't feel hostility toward you until you called my husband a narcissist; you're entitled to your opinion, of course, but I don't see how calling names helps to mend a friendship. You said "i just can't do this ALL the time, and **i** need to be able to express my feelings without being attacked or deleted AND without having all of my more pleasing qualities wiped out." So you were talking about Eliot there? I don't get it. "I, too, want real friends. You and I became friends because we had motherhood in common." actually, from my end, that is not true. This is what I'm most curious about. How is that not true? When we were living next door to each other, we weren't really friends. It wasn't until I got pregnant that we started to spend time together. I wasn't saying that it's a bad thing that that's why we became friends. I'm not full of venom. I feel like shit and sick that this is happening.

Erica: You misunderstood much of what i wrote in my email. "In my email I was saying that if you feel there's a problem with Eliot, you need to talk with him. As far as I know, the extent of your reaching out to him was asking him to that open mic night and when he couldn't go (because he already had plans with Dave from the studio), you emailed back a mystifying "Well, I tried." Honestly and clearly talking with him about your feeling would have been a better step toward a REAL friendship." first, eliot is one who had the problem with me, as i stated. i have not had a problem with him, other than feeling he had a problem with me! (which he never brought up, but which, through your growing hostility toward me, and his avoidance of me, i could feel). "Saying hurtful things in an email lacks courage." like you are doing here, you mean? "I don't think Eliot (or anyone) is perfect, but I don't think he is a narcissist. When did he attack or silence you for expressing your feelings? Rather it's his nature (and journalist background) to probe and get people to explain their feelings more. If you weren't clear in your feelings, perhaps having to explain them made you feel attacked. And saying that the issues are coming from Eliot and then calling him a narcissist shows that you had issues with him, too; it wasn't a one-way street." this where you completely misunderstood me. i wasn't talking about ME feeling attacked; i was talking about ELIOT feeling attacked, ignored, etc. i won't go any further into eliot's narcissism, which is clearly not something you're ready to admit. "As for Peter, Eliot and I understand he's not the most sociable person, but we both felt that he doesn't like being with us. We felt uncomfortable about him paying the check whenever we meet for breakfast and refusing our money. It's not like you guys have any more money than we do. Not coming to Astrid's birthday party sent a message to me that he didn't want to be part of our life. I'm surprised you had no idea about this." WHOA: let me remind you that ELIOT did not attend LOLITA's b-day party in January - SIX months before astrid's b-day. what kind of message did THAT send???? peter had to work at clio the night of astrid's party. i dont think you have any idea of his schedule, or the few shreds of free time he has. he works THREE JOBS. rushing around the fenway area, parking,etc. before work (when he had worked until 3am the night before) was just not going to happen. it had nothing to do with his feelings about you guys. further more, i don't appreciate your commenting on our financial situation. you don't have any idea how much money we have or make. and FURTHER, if you felt uncomfortable with peter's paying, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?????????? "I, too, want real friends. You and I became friends because we had motherhood in common." actually, from my end, that is not true. boy, have we been in different worlds. and you are so full of venom, i know it can't be about me - our relationship hasn't been substantial enough. good luck.